By Jack Phillips
Inspired by Narain Karthikeyan’s out of the bluest of blues comebacks yesterday, and now that free time is no longer as rare as a full house at Portman Road, TFB is hopefully dusted off and spluttering back to life.
Rather fittingly today has seen the axe finally fall onto TFB’s favourite scapegoat, Roy Keane. The Longest Stand-Off In The East (as it will be known if I get my way) has been a tortuous one, and Ipswich Town lost. They stood, pistol cocked, waiting for his textbook walkaway. He stood, non-nonplussed, egging them on to do it. And they have.
From this side of the fence, he was on for a Manager of The Year award, well, fighting Our Saviour for it anyway. Mouthing off to the-owner-who-no-one-knows, mouthing off to the fans, even blaming Suffolk itself for hampering signings (we’re further away, Roy, and we signed the likes of Surman, Barnett and Ward), all the while signing nobodies and playing some dull, unsuccessful football.
He’s been willing them to do it for months, saying things along the lines of “if they want to sack me they should”, “if I feel I’m not fit for the job I’ll leave”, “I miss my dogs” after every match. He’ll be grinning for days, no doubt we won’t see him again until he’s calmed down a tad.
On the whole, the sacking is thoroughly irresponsible and has ramifications outside of the footballing world. The North East will shortly become over-run by average professional footballers that they can no longer get rid of. If I was Steve Bruce I would be asking Niall Quinn to look into renting a warehouse where they can store the players they want rid of until Keane gets another job. It’s a risk, his CV is hardly glowing, but then again Notts County will need another manager some point soon.
People of Suffolk will actually be tempted to go watch their team now too, the recent boom of people deserting Portman Road going out on a Saturday instead will collapse, who knows whether the county will be able to cope with it. Shops will shut, the local economy will be in ruins.
If their form turns for the better, Mr Evans may even have to go public. Well, employ someone to become his Public Marcus Evans at least.
Then there is us, the poor public. We will now be subjected to Roy Keane at large. At least when he was Ipswich manager we would shudder, but then ease ourselves with the thought “At least he’s not our manager.” But now he has no day job to go back to, his day job will be making outlandish, implausible statements.
Do the right thing, Ipswich Town, take one for the team and take him back. The whole country will thank you for it. Especially those in Norfolk.
