So, I was bored and wanted to do something for this fine website as I have been neglecting my duties of late. This is mostly because there was very little to talk about F1 wise. Below is a blueprint of what I believe Bernie has set out for us.
- BBC try to build excitement about the race still being interesting despite Vettel having secured pole for the 31st time this season.
- Vettel gets an ok start, everyone else either crashes or follows him through the first corner.
- Vettel stretches lead to 8 seconds within 3 laps. One of either Alonso, Hamilton, Button or Webber tries to hang on to him.
- Button enters fuel and tyre saving mode.
- Vettel enters fuel and tyre saving mode.
- Hamiltoncrashes into Massa.
- Webber overtakes Fernando.
- Everyone pits and resumes the race in the same order.
- Mark or Fernando catch Seb up to get within 5 seconds of him.
- Fernando does a succession of consistently fast laps until his next stop.
- Kobayashi crashes into something.
- Maldonado crashes into something.
- Everyone puts on the hard tyres, but Alonso’s Ferrari is suddenly about as fast as a gravy boat.
- Button starts to fly, catching everyone up and in the process overtakes Webber and Alonso for 2nd place.
- Webber sets the fastest lap.
- Seb wins.
- Vettel sticks his finger up and yells down the radio “yes, boys, yes! That’s what I’m talking about. We did it, I’m so proud of you. Yes!”
- Everywhere in the world but Germany groans.
- Eddie Jordan says something about “Jordan DNA”.
- Coulthard’s white jeans are even tighter than 2 hours beforehand.
- BBC end programme with a dramatic music race montage type thing.
